Helping?
by tomfeltonmeluvver
Summary: A tortured little girl has her own methods of coping. Can a little boy help her out? Does he know how to? Or does he go about it completely the wrong way? Can they become friends or will they slip through each others fingers? Self harm, potential for suicidal thoughts/actions, deppression, despair
1. Chapter 1

Helping

AN: My first multi chapter story. I've never been much good with technology but slowly I'm getting the hang of this now maybe someone might read this one? Should I know when people read my fics? Or do I just get reviews? Look out for the next chapter. It may come today if my shoulder behaves, else I'll be more than angry with it screwing my days up. I don't get anything done when it's like this, but I suppose if I wasn't stuck unable to lift anything or do anything productive then this story would never have got started today either.

The Silver Object and the Black Book

"No wonder she has no friends" she heard Weasley snipe. She pushed past him and ran off unaware of the young blonde watching her, following her to her secret hiding place. The girls bathroom was as always empty. Moaning Mertile always kept it that way, no one wanted to be near her and Hermione was grateful to the depressive ghost, she had her uses. Hermione smiled slightly knowing she had her privacy here for as long as she needed, well until lunchtime any way.

She placed her bag on the side by the sinks, pulling out her diary and muttering her personalised unlocking spell. The small black book clicked and she carefully opened the book to the next blank page. Everyone was jealous of just how organised she was, this was what made her life so perfect, organisation and systems. Everything had to be done in the right order, just the right way and this way she missed out nothing in her perfected routine.

She was so immersed in what she was doing she hadn't noticed the young boy standing stock still and silently from the doorway. He watched her write a short phrase in her book before replacing her quill in her bag and turning to the next page where something silvery glinting caught his attention. He watched her put the book on the edge of the sink, grabbing up the silvery object and sliding down the wall.

From his position by the door he could no longer see what she was doing. He sidled forwards slightly so that he could sit at the other side of the sinks and watch her through the u-bends. He watched her caressing the silver object, turning it over and over in her hands. Curiously he leaned closer as she lifted her right hand up to pull up her left sleeve. The object was in her right hand and when she pulled her hand down from her arm he saw a bright red line appear on her arm. Before he knew it there were 5 more lines, dripping on to the bathroom tiles. He gasped, making Hermione draw in a sharp breath and look up. Catching a glimpse of his startled silver eyes in her tear filled brown eyes she scrabbled back into the corner and to her feet, hastily pulling down her sleeve, the forgotten object falling to the tiles. She grabbed her bag and pushed past the shocked young boy.

He grabbed her upper arm as she pushed him out of her way, turning her towards him. Seeing her wince, he lightened his grip. "Hermione please" he begged. Her wet brown eyes pleaded up at his as she pulled away from him and ran down the hall. Alone, he turned to the corner where she had sat in. He picked up the little silver object. It was covered in her blood. Red and sticky the blade called to him willing him to take it.

He pocketed it, along with the little black book Hermione had left behind. After wiping away the drops of blood from the floor he returned to his dormitory. It was lunchtime, but having peeked round the door to the great hall, he had quickly realised that Hermione was not present there. He hadn't expected her to be with the state she had been in a couple of minutes previously. He slumped backwards onto his bed and opened her little black book. He wanted to know what she had been writing in it.

It wasn't what he had been expected. Page after page of the same, slightly rushed but still neat, script. What did it mean? Why had she written that? He flicked page after page after page. Every time the same thing written hundreds of times. That was when he made his resolution, on that night, all hallows eve.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco sat on his bed in his dormitory. He was worried. Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle had returned from the feast. Crabbe and Goyle were in a bad mood because the feast had finished early. Blaise on the other hand was in a great mood. He was excited and buzzing from the evenings events

"A troll!" he stated for what Draco felt was the hundredth time. "In the dungeons, how the hell did a troll get in?"

"Shut up" screamed Draco "Just shut up"

"Alright man. What's up with you? Your Dad on your case again?"

"Just leave me alone" Draco growled as he pushed past the tall bronzed boy.

"Alright, Malfoy!" he shouted after the disappearing blonde "I didn't mean it". Draco was gone. "I was just messing around" Blaise sighed bitterly. That stuck up Malfoy kid was just so touchy.

Draco didn't know where he was going. Didn't know what he was expecting to find. Where was he going to find her. He paced the castle for an hour before he found himself winding his way up to the astronomy tower. He hadn't had a lesson up here yet and he was curious to see the stars. He would never tell anyone, especially Blaise, but he was right. His father was a bully, always on his case, always assuming the worst, always wanting Draco to have done better in whatever he did.

He shivered as he pushed the door to the top most room open. He was dreading his father finding out about his love for astronomy. He was sure that he would find out as soon as his first grades were sent home. He walked to the open side of the room from which he could see over the whole of the black lake, well most of it he assumed. It was rather dark and the lake stretched on for miles. He wondered just how much like ice the water would feel like

He shivered and smirked at the thought before tearing his vision away from the dark night of the castle grounds and sitting cross legged on the ground in front of his bag which he had dropped part way across the room. He carefully pulled out two black books, his quill and the little silver blade.

He had cleaned it after he had read through Hermiones book. He opened her book to the first page and read the words on the top of the page. He opened his own book to the first page and read his first line.

They were so similar. If it weren't for the different hands they could have both belonged to the same person. He turned through his book before reaching an almost blank page. He looked at the last line he had written , reached out with his quill and wrote, neatly and softly across the page. The same 5 words that were echoed throughout the two books. He then picked up the blade and pushed his right sleeve up.

Hermiones jaw dropped open. She felt like she had gone back two hours and had swapped bodies with the small boy sitting in front of her. Gently she stepped forwards towards him. When he heard the slight rustle of footsteps beside him he looked up sharply. There were 6 red lines of blood dripping into his robes.

He looked up, his startled eyes suddenly clouding over, a scowl forming on his forehead as the sad brown eyes stared down at him. How had he not heard her arrive? He was a fool. Now she knew his secret, but then he knew hers too. He looked back down at the ground pondering what to do.

The next time he looked up Hermione was sitting cross legged in front of him, he sad brown eyes looking curiously into his suspicious silver gaze. She held her hand out palm up and Drace picked up her book and passed it to her. She placed it on the ground in front of her and held her hand out again. He passed her her blade. Once more she placed the blade in front of her and held out her hand.

He looked at her for a second. Then as she pointed he followed he finger to his book. As her hand turned back over he shut his eyes, blinking away the 'dust', took a deep breath and opening his eyes he picked up his book slowly and passed even slower to the curly haired boy sitting opposite him.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione lowered her glance from the little boy down to the black book that he had just given to her. She opened it to the first page and stared at the words jumping out at her from the page. She gasped and looked up at the silver grey eyes and through the cold hardened exterior she could see a hidden fear. She could see him begging her. Begging her for what she wondered. One thing she guessed now was that her secret was safe with him unless he wanted his secret getting out.

But how had they been writing the same thing? The chances of two people writing in the same book was so small. Let alone writing the same thing in said book as well as completing the same actions as each other after writing in the book.

"Why did you take my book?" Hermione demanded. "Why did you take my blade? You used my blade"

Draco looked at her. She was crying, silently, but she couldn't disguise the tears leaking down her face.

"I'm sorry" Draco offered "Please, don't cry " he said softly.

His hands were on her arms, pulling her towards him. He pulled her into his arms. He wanted to take away her pain.

"I'm really sorry" he repeated.

She lay in his arms. His body keeping her warm against the cold stone floor.

"It's ok" she whispered. "Why?" she asked sitting up and looking down at him.

"Why what?" he questioned raising himself up onto his elbows and gazing up at her curiously.

"Why do you write that?"

"It's just what I've always written" he shrugged "I don't really know"

"Where did you get the book?"

"I've had my book for as long as I can remember. It just lived in my desk draw at home."

Hermione was quietly thinking.

"What about you?" Draco broke the silence. "Where did yo get your book?"

"My mother gave me mine. Years ago. Before she died. She eventually finished.

"I'm sorry to hear that" Draco comforted. "Is that why you?"

"No" Hermione broke in quickly. "Never".

They sat there in silence again for a short while before Draco questioned again.

"Why did you say your mothers a dentist?"

"Because she is"

"But you just said"

"I know. She was a dentist, and so is my new Mum. I guess Dad just finds comfort in his own sort."

"Do you think we could"

"Could what?"

"Find comfort in out own sort?"

Hermione shot backwards from him across the room.

"I-|I-I can't" she stuttered.

"But Hermione. I'm sorry. Please we can help each other."

I can't do it"

"Do what?" he pressed "Hermione!"

"Leave me alone!"

Draco stood up. He crossed back to their books. He was picking up his and putting it back in his bag when he had an idea. He picked up their books and her blade and walked softly back over to Hermione, curled up in the corner sobbing gently. He sat down cross legged in front of her, placing her book, open at the correct page for her, in front of her and his in front of him. The blade he held in his hand turning it over and over, just as he had seen her do earlier in the day.

Eventually she looked up and when she did he was ready. He passed her his quill and pushed her book a little closer to her. She looked at his eyes, wide with desire. She took the quill and wrote her 5 words down. Slower and with more care than she had earlier in the day. She looked up at him after and handed him back hiss quill as he passed her blade, careful not to let his fingers touch hers. Not wanting to scare her.

Once he had written his words, he looked up at her and saw 3 new bright lines along her left arm. Before he had a chance to root around his bag she offered him the blade which he took and drew 3 matching lines on his right arm. She reached across with her right arm and took his right arm,

"Why?" she asked him quietly.

He picked up her left arm with his left.

"I could ask you the same thing" he replied.

"I-I-I-"

"It's ok" he stopped her "You don't have to tell me. But if you want to tell me anything I'm always here"

"We should get to bed"

"Yeah" he agreed "We have another long day tomorrow "We'll be starting astronomy soon".

"I can't wait"

"Neither can I" he whispered softly "Neither can I"

"Good night Draco"

"See you here tomorrow night?"

"I'll be here, night"

"Good night, Hermione," he breathed after her..


	4. Chapter 4

Draco lay in bed that night, unable to sleep, tossing and turning.

"Look man, about what I said earlier about your Dad".

Great it was Blaise.

"Dude. I didn't mean it, seriously are you ok?"

"Yeah"

"You just keep tossing and turning though"

"I'm fine. Just go to sleep"

Draco heard him toss the covers off his bed. Heard his footsteps padding across the cold flag stones. Felt the bed sink as Blaise sat down on the side of it.

"Seriously mate, the bruisers are asleep I checked. If you want to talk."

"I don't I said I'm fine" Draco raised his voice.

"Draco. Please. I've seen them"

"What?"

"In flying class today" Blaise started "your sleeve, it sort of slipped and I couldn't help it when we went to get changed. I just saw."

"It's nothing Blaise. Go to bed"

Although it was dark and Draco couldn't see anything, he knew the look Blaise was giving him. He had known the Italian long enough o know that he wasn't just guess. He had seen alright and last time he hadn't let up for weeks. He felt the dark haired boy squeeze his hand through the covers and let out an exasperated sigh as he turned over once more and eventually fell into an uneasy sleep.

Even though Hermione was late back to the dormitory Harry and Ron were still up.

"Look Hermione" Ron started "About earlier"

"It's fine" snapped Hermione turning towards the dormitory stairs.

"No Hermione wait" Harry said.

Hermione turned back and glared at him.

"What? I'm tired. I want to go to bed."

"We just wanted to say we were sorry" Harry started again.

"Yeah" Ron added. "Can we start again? Can we be friends"

"We'll see" Hermione replied non committal and stalked off to her room.

She was grateful at least that her room mates were fast asleep. She fell backwards on to her bed, letting out a long whoosh of air. She closed her eyes. What a day. Draco had walked in on her, a troll had nearly killed her and to top it all she had just spent the late hour in the astronomy tower with Draco. She had woken up this morning with no friends and now she had 3. Unsure how to progress from this point she lay awake for a while tossing and turning wondering what tomorrow had in store.

The next morning both Hermione and Draco were up by 6 working on their homework from the previous day, knowing that if they didn't get it done before breakfast then they would have no hope tonight with an extra days worth of homework and their meeting by tonight. Although neither of them would admit it they both were secretly looking forward to either others company once more.

At breakfast they kept glancing up at each other in turn, both too nervous to eat their food. Harry and Ron both noticed that Hermione had barely touched her plate. Was this normal for her? They made a silent pact to keep an eye on how much she was eating. They both remembered how she hadn't been at either lunch or dinner yesterday. It wasn't unheard of Hermione to skip lunch to study in the library. The whole school was aware of how much of a bookworm she was even after just 2 months at her new school.

Blaise had also noticed how little Draco had eaten. Blaise having known Draco for years, knew of his previous issues. He knew that Draco hadn't been at dinner the previous night. He knew that when Drace was worried about something enough he simply wouldn't eat. He assumed he just had other things on him mind when he was that worried to remember to eat. Blaise nudged him and by the end of breakfast at least he had managed to force a meagre piece of toast down the blondes throat.

In potions that morning Draco winced whenever Uncle Severus, Professor Snape he corrected himself, picked on Hermione for being 'an insufferable little know-it-all'. He glared at his godfather to receive a sneer in return and a detention to match the one with which he had rewarded Hermione for speaking out of turn once more.

He sighed. Unable to change the way the lesson was going he bent his head down, resting his right cheek on his right arm to scrawl the notes on his parchment. From this position he could look across the desk away from Blaise, acrss Crabbe and Goyles desk and was able to see Hermione, left cheek resting on her left arm writing swiftly on her parchment. He smiled softly at the sight and turned back to his ouw work.

Hermione glanced up after a few paragraphs, taking in the confused scowls on Crabbe and Goyles faces as they struggled to keep up with the concepts of the simple healing potion, then looking further saw the calm face of Draco Malfoy. Taking in the way he was lying on his right arm, scribbling away, lost in his thoughts and work. She smiled at the vision before sinking her head back down to complete her script.


	5. Chapter 5

Their homework was mounting already. Potions, transfiguration, pages and pages of History of Magic, and flying. Hermione dreaded flying. It was her worst lesson and she hated everything about it as she couldn't learn how to fly from a book. There were countless strategies and theories she had found in various books, but no definite way to learn how to fly.

Draco hated History of Magic and the more homework they got for it the worse he found it. It was such a boring subject but as it was one of the most important subjects in his fathers eyes he knew he had to do well in it. He concentrated throughout the whole hour and half lesson, taking notes and pinching himself whenever he caught himself dosing off, so that he would be able to complete the essays and come top of the class.

Finally dinner was over and it was their time to do what they wished. Harry had quiddich practice and Ron as always went to watch him. Blaise wanted to catch up with Draco, but Draco shook him off saying he wanted to go to the library to do his homework, in silence. On his own, he had finally told Blaise. A little put out with his tone, Blaise was left sat at the table watching Dracos disappearing back.

Hermione was sat in the astronomy tower with her books spead around her making a start on her transfiguration homework. There was a lot of homework today that she'd decided to leave dinner early and make a start on it before Draco arrived. Drace had seen her leave and hoped that she was waiting for him. He didn't go back to his dormitory to drop his books off as he didn't want to miss out. When he arrived however he found Hermione, head buried in her books. Typical bookworm, he thought, getting a head start.

"So you couldn't wait for me then." he started.

"I-hold on we didn't come here to study." she answered.

"We can if you want to" he suggested softly.

"Can we-you know-first?" She asked timidly.

"Ok" he agreed, throwing his bag to the side of him as he sat down opposite her. He pulled out his little black book as she piled her school books to one side and took out her little black book.

Hermione passed her quill to Draco before he had a chance to get his out. He looked up at her as she gave him a small smile. He smiled back taking the quill knowing that she was watching him write each word. When he was finished he passed the quill to Hermione, refused the blade she held out for him and pulled out his own blade. Silently she watched him sliding the silver smoothly through his arm. She watched the blood slipping down his arm into his robes.

When he had finished he looked up at Hermione who had finally bent her head to write in her book. He watched her words forming on the page before holding out his blade to her. She took it and in turn sliced into her skin as well. As she finished he counted the 8 lines on her arm, looking down at his to see 8 glistening lines on his arm. Hermione wiped off his blade and passed it back to Draco. Her smile now warmer and more relaxed. Draco smiled back rather more widely than her had before.

"Would you like to study together?" he spoke more confidently than before.

"Yes" Hermione said with definition. Now she knew where he got his cocky, confident manner from. "Transfiguration first?" she decided rather than asked, pulling her books back to her.

Draco nodded and started pulling his books out too. They spent half an hour working on the cutlery transfiguring essay Professor McGonagall had set them and practicing on the spoon which Hermione had taken from the dining table that evening. They took it in turns, helping each other. Offering advice and helping correct motions and pronunciation.

It didn't take long for the two top students to turn the spoon to a fork, a knife and back again first time each time, They each had pretty decorations inscribed on their works as well, considering the plain state of which the spoon had been when it left the table earlier in the day.

Packing her books back away with the restored spoon she stood in front of Draco.

"Good night Draco."

"Good night Hermione." He replied with a small smile, knowing that they would be together in this room again the following night.


	6. Chapter 6

The young couple met every night that week. Always the same routine before studying together. One night they would use Hermiones quill, Dracos blade and then study the subject of Hermiones choice. The nect they would use Dracos quill, Hermiones blade and stufy Dracos subject of choice.

This particular night Draco was fuming when he arrived in the tower. Irritated and ready to start he had to sit and wait for Hermione for 10 agonising minutes. When she turned up his book, quill and blade were all laid out waiting for her. Hermione eyes them suspiciously and settling down opposite him as Fraco picked up his quill. Hermione opened her mouth to question him, but quickly shut her mouth again when she saw the glare he was giving her. As he scrawled as quickly as possible across his page, she pulled out her black book, unlocked it and took out her blade.

Draco was reaching for his blade by the time she held out hers for him. He hesitated over his blade and sighing took Hermiones from her, slicing her fingers as the blade slide from he fingers before she had a chance to let go. Draco was quickly cutting into his arm again. Too focused on his pleasure to notice what he had done to his friend.

Once he was satisfied he passed the blade back to Hermione, who had written in her book and was waiting for her turn. Draco watched her cut 12 lines, noting that he had also done 12, but not sure that she was aware of that fact.

Dracos choice of subject was History of magic. He was half way through pulling out his books before he heard Hermione clear her throat.

"Would you mind ever so if we studied a subject for me tonight?" She asked timidly.

"Erm" Draco started "Of course not" He obliged unwillingly.

He would rather study his subject and Hermione could hear it in his voice.

"How about we do a bit of History and then a bit of mine?" she suggested.

"OK" he lit up. Pleased that he was going to get help. 45 minuted later Draco was happy with the finished product of his goblins essay. He was happy that he would get a good grade and turned back to Hermione after packing it neatly away in his bag.

"Ok then" he smiled at the brunette "what would you like to study"

She mumbled so quietly that he had to ask again as he hadn't heard her.

"Flying" she squeaked quietly again.

"You know we can't fly in here right?"

"Yes but I've seen you fly." she replied "I was hoping that you might be able to give me some pointers. You're really good" she added.

"Come on then, get your bag"

He grabbed her hand and let her down the stairs and out into the cold night air. He took 2 broom from the store cupboard and passed one to Hermione.

"Right, where do you want to start?"

"How about the beginning"

"What right at the beginning"

"Yes, starting with getting the broom from the floor to my hand."

"okay" Draco agreed, surprised that Hermione of all people was unable to work with the broom. She was so stubborn and determined to do everything so right.

20 minutes later Draco had calmed her down enough to manage to teach her how to levitate her broom and correctly sit on it. They had even managed to hover a little bit above the ground after a lot of persuasion from Draco. When they were safely back on the ground again Hermione climbed off the broom and grateful to have her feet back on firm ground suddenly found her arms flung around Dracos neck tightly. Draco just stood there not sure what to do, what to make of this girl around his neck. He gently prised her off of him.

"Well done" he congratulated the young girl. "You did really well tonight"

"Thank you Draco" she smiled, "Could never have done that without you"

"Yes you could" Draco scalded "You're Hermione Granger, you can do anything you want"

"Except fly. You made me do that"

Embarrassed by the praise she was giving him he changed the subject.

"We have astronomy Monday night" he reminded her.

"That means we can't meet can we" she agreed sadly.

"It's ok" he encouraged, "We could meet in the library at lunchtime if you like?"

"I'd like that" Hermione smiled up into Dracos sparkling silver eyes.

"Come on, lets go in, you're shivering" Draco noticed passing her his cloak.

"It's the excitement of flying" she tried to promise him.

"No you're cold" he said firmly as he pulled his cloak tightly round her shoulders.

As they went their separate ways Hermione went to take off his cloak. Draco put his hands on her wrists.

"Keep it" he said softly. "I'll see you Monday lunchtime"

She smiled up at him.

"Good night Draco."

"Good night Hermione. Sleep tight."

As Hermione climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor common room she was smiling broadly. When Draco turned from her to walk back to the Slytherin common room, he found himself walking a little taller and a little lighter with a very large smile plastered across his face. If only they knew the affects they were having on each other.


	7. Chapter 7

The couple soon found that library lunches were most enjoyable. They would study in each others company. Hermione helping Draco out with his History of Magic assignments and Draco doing the same with flying practices in the evenings for Hermione.

Harry and Ron were not the only ones who were impressed with how well Hermione had progressed on a broom. Blaise however seemed to be the only one who was noticing Dracos absences at lunchtimes. Sleeping in late and missing breakfast was usual for Draco and Blaise never disturbed him in the morning because he knew all too well how much Dracos fist hurt when he was asleep. He was in attendance at dinner times, however Blaise could not miss just how much time Draco spent playing with his food between his knife and fork and how little of the food actually ever manage to find its way past his lips.

No body noticed how little Hermione ate. Harry and Ron having not known her for very long did not see past her excuses of eating in between classes and on her way to the library. They still found it incredibly weird that she spent so much time in the library. Her excuse at dinnertime was that she had snacked too much during the day and simply wasn't hungry.

All too soon it was Christmas break and both Hermione and Draco found their way back to London on the Hogwarts Express. Draco was grateful that he had these few short hours to be able to tuck himself away in a carriage alone with Hermione. Blaise was staying at Hogwarts with Crabbe and Goyle. The girls were staying for the famous Christmas celebrations they had heard about. Draco had also over heard Hermione talking to Potter and Weasley about continuing the search for this Nicholas Flammel character whom she had had them all searching books for in the past couple of weeks.

Draco was excited to have a chance to have Hermione to himself today because he had to admit this Flammel was taking up way too much of Hermiones time. They rarely had time for their little rituals any more. Once a week if they were lucky, Hermione would allow them to relax together, normally just before a flying session. Draco found this a little unfair because he enjoyed flying and it wasn't the same, feeling the wind pushing past the freshly opened cuts on his forearm. The sting was good but he felt they could have better timing.

The train ride wasn't quite as enjoyable as he had expected. Hermione seemed to get more and more distracted and subdued the closer to London they got. She would frequently answer his repeated questions with a 'Sorry?' or a 'I missed that'. He felt like she was there physically, but mentally she was slipping away from him. He felt like a spare part. He'd felt pushed aside for a couple of weeks now. Hermione making sure they were all extra busy researching Flammel and now, now she just seemed to be ignoring him. Hew had never felt so alone since making friends with her.

As the train slowed to a stop at Charring Cross, Hermione jumped up and embraced a surprised Draco in a big, almost too tight hug. Before he had a chance to hug her back or say a proper goodbye she had grabbed her bags and disembarked the train. By the time Draco had gathered his trunk and cloak together and stepped onto the platform he could see her in the distance in the arms of another man. A man he assumed was her father. He wasn't all too sure though as his hands seemed to be in some rather inappropriate places he thought with a scowl and his lips seemed to be awfully close to hers. Or maybe that was just Draco. Maybe all father acted like that with their daughters. Having no sisters Draco wouldn't know, and even if he had he doubted his father would ever embrace them like that. His father was way too cold.

"Come Draco, You're dawdling!"

Shit! His father had seen him first.

"Yes sir, sorry father" he replied faithfully before taking one last wishful glance at Hermiones disappearing form, her fathers arm tucked neatly around her waste. Turning quickly Draco stiffly marching after the tall blonde man's billowing cloak.


End file.
